3.25.2009

Oh and I forgot to mention that I can't believe how much I am blogging now. For those of you who don't know (erm, maybe all of you. cos I didn't mention it to anyone), I've got to keep blogs for my courses aka modules. They're like reflective journals which we need to post regularly to keep track of where we are going and what we're doing. We're supposed to have really in-depth posts whereby we think a lot on stuff that we've learn in school or outside of school.

God, I need to discipline myself to blog religiously.


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AHHHHHHHH!!!!
I dont know how to have a group discussion in Mandarin! Well done, Yi Ting. Your English sucks and now your mother tongue sucks too! Ha.

So the story goes. My group mates for Media Industries 1 are all Chinese. 2 Chinese and 1 Hong Konger. So by default, the spoken language is Mandarin. But I've never done a group discussion in Mandarin before!!! I dont know how to express my thoughts in Mandarin... Seriously, I'm such a failure cos I've been speaking Mandarin at home all my life but when it comes to serious work, words just don't appear! You know how it feels when you're eager to tell someone something but you can't find the exact words for it? I guess I need a translator. This feeling in terrible. For my fellow friends out there, you know how sometimes there's no 100% translation? ZZZZzzzz

I'm angry and helpless at the same time. When I do speak to them in Mandarin, I'll always wonder what do they think? 'Is she trying to act as if her English is better than us?' Well, NO! My English isn't any better. Grammar mistakes everywhere, wrong sentence structures, limited vocabs. What else man?

Sigh. We've sort of finished the first assignment. The funny thing is, I didnt complete a section in the assignment before letting them to look through. Ahem, not to say thing, but they didn't even notice that and said that it's okay..... BAH!!! Well, I guess I've got lots of stuff to edit this time.

IRONICALLY.

This is totally opposite with my PP group. They're fluent in English, vocal and talk as if they're debating. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit here. Heh. Yea, so one is from NYC, another from Chicago and the last is local. A bunch of angmohs. This time round I am the quiet one who contributes occassionally because everyone is talking. Maybe I just need more time to understand what they're saying.

They'll always ask me if I understand what they're talking and if I like the project idea. The worst part is when they ask me to brainstorm stuff. This I have to raise both of my hands up and agree that that's my weakness. I can't brainstorm. Well, not that I can't. I always try but somehow or rather nothing comes to my mind. I am always amazed by people who can think of ideas right away, like in a blink of an eye 3 ideas are out. I simply can't do that! Sigh.

So yea. I'm kinda stressed out now cos I need to speak Mandarin for one English project and I need to speak more for another English project.

I am horrible.


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3.17.2009

Min is bored.


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3.12.2009

I'm bad at penning my thoughts down. There were times when I thought about stuff and have always wanted to blog about them. But when I clicked on 'New Post'.... the thoughts just disappeared into thin air... Or maybe they weren't floating in the air in the first place. Words don't seem to flow accordingly as how I wanted them to.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Lots of stuff are running through in my brain but I dont like to voice them out. What's the point? Will they be interested? Perhaps they'll think that whatever I've just said was crappy and meaningless. There's always this invisible barrier that's in me. I feel no urge to share whatever I've been through be it in school, at work or anywhere else. Ok, I'm sounding a bit boring. Or very boring.

I often wonder how some people can chat easily with any strangers. It seems like they know everything on earth to strike up a conversation and not letting the conversation die off because their knowledge on that topic is 'private limited'.

I am experiencing this right now. Not knowing how to communicate with people. Ha. Ironically, I'm studying Communications. Yes, I definitely need to improve on my communication skill.

Sometimes, I'll feel so intimidated by my groupmates or tutorial mates because of the things they said in class. They sounded so pro and really into media... And for me, I'll just keep quiet and listen, hoping that I can think of something intelligent enough to add on to their 'debate' or whatever. Well, normally I can't think of anything smart at all. And there goes, another day went by 'safely'.

I lead ain't no exciting life. Nothing much to share here. Even if I've got something to say... that might just be a one liner and lasts no longer than 1 minute I guess. Sigh....

Basically, that's me- someone who doesn't like to talk much...


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3.05.2009

One post. 5 tissue papers. And, 1 litre of tears.

CAN I SCREAM OUT LOUD????

I MISS HOME!!! I MISS PAPA, MAMA AND MY SIS!!! I'm home sick.

Many times I wanted to cry. Thinking about home, family and friends. Everytime when I called home, I was at the verge of crying out loud. But I can't, cos they'll be worried about me. Yesterday was Mama's birthday. I wanted to use the Starhub international calling card to call home ytd morning. It couldn't connect!!!! I was panicking thinking that I have no credit on my Virgin prepaid. Well, then I managed to topup my credit online.

It was really good to hear a familiar voice. Mama picked up the phone. And there again, I couldn't speak properly. There was an invisble lump in my throat. The feeling that you'll have when you're controlling your tears... Yea, that was it. I wished her Happy Birthday and asked her what she was doing. The whole conversation was barely 2 minutes plus and we hung up after that. I haven't seen her for 1 mth. Papa too.

I used to find them really annoying. They grumbled about the smallest thing like how we left the fan on when we left the room, how I hung the clothes wrongly after a wash. Before I left, they used to tease me saying that no one will control me anymore when I'm here. I can do whatever I like. But now, I MISS THEM!!!! I've never missed someone so badly before.

Who made this clever decision of going to study abroad, spending my parents' hard earned money like no other business? ME! I am regretting a bit. Can't I study in Singapore like what you guys are doing?

My sister told me that my parents argued the other day. My mum wants to quit her job and my dad says that his job is not stable. I am a burden right now. Yes, I am. I need to find a cheaper house and scrimp my way through. Say that I'm a miser. Say that I also complain that things here are expensive. Whatever. I dont care now. I'm trying to minimise my spendings to $70 a week. That's 10 bucks a day. 'That's quite a lot!' You would say. But over here, a meal costs 10 bucks. So I think I'll survive on sushi rolls. Sushi rolls are really common here. I had one just now $1.90. Cheapest that I had so far. That's a 5 mins walk from school.

Com'on man, 1.5years is really short! I think I always had that in mind before I came here. But now, I'm dreading it. It's just the 4th day of school. When will this end?

I'm crossing my fingers. My eyes are really tired now cos I was brawling while typing this out.

One post. 5 tissue papers. And, 1 litre of tears.


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