3.25.2005
Like Toy Soldiers................Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...
[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some sh** ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said 'I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it'
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this sh** be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas sh**
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like f*** it i understand this is business
And this sh** just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this sh** could pop off at any minute cuz
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The sh** gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
f*** it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's f***ed the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well f*** it, that mutherf***er can get it too, f*** him then
But I'm so busy being pi**ed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyan Ave and who sulked us up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz
[Chorus]
3.24.2005
Almost There lyricsDelta Goodrem*featuring Brian McFadden
Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you
But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind i?d left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here
3.21.2005
Due to the TWO complains i've received, I decided to BLOG AGAIn on the 21st of Mar, 10.58 am.Firstly, I would like to explain y i didnt blog.....
Reasons:
1) I'm busy....
2) I'm lazy
3) I cant force my hands to type..... but due to the overwhelming complains.... I'm force to blog.
( you all noe who u are ;( )
I admit that I do not have anything to do at home, that i have to complete my dunno how many yrs old cross stitch given by Mic in 2001.... (She could foresee that in a few years down the road that i am free with nothing to do, stoning alone at home)
Well, I'm busy because I FINALLY get a chance to have a SU meeting! Phew! After 2 sems of grumbling that i dun have a CCA... My only SU finally gave me a call and asked me to join the NYP Forum event! That makes me help to do a poster... I'll publish the poster later k? I'm kinda proud of that.. Hee hEe..
Oh ya... Went to work yesterday.. And there's an ang moh making me angry! Testing my patience... ARghh.
Angmoh: HOw much is the red display with the bowl cost?
(FYI, its a display kinda thing mounted on the wall with a bowl of bricks for the kids to play with)
Me: About a thouand dollars
AM: Are you sure? How can it be?
then she pulled out a green base plate with costs $24 and started to compared them for me to see..
AM: You see, At most the red base here costs about 50 bucks n the bricks! They are so cheap! How can it be so expensive?
She's doubting me! Arghh. I work there 1 yr plus liao leh.. I dunno ar? Bleah!
Me: We need to ship in from Denmark you see?
AM: Even that doesnt need to be so much.. Where's ur manager? I want to speak to her!
Ok fine! Speak Speak lah.. Alice was not around she was enjoying her off day....
Slowly, I dialled the number.. She picked up the phone.. n i began rattling to her wat happened..
Then i asked that angmoh to go to the phone... while i went to serve other customers...
I heard that she threw the phone down....Attitude man..
Arghh. But in order to please her further, I gave her bionicle posters n calender.. hoping that it will not tarnish the shop'd image...
3.13.2005
2 more modules to go... Not very confident of them but anyway die die also must pass. I dun wanna go sem 7!!!! Boo Hoo Hoo........................ ;(Suddenly, I feel that my face is really really big........... It gets expanded when i take a photo... I'm sad.. I'd asked my sis yesterday..
Me: Is my face big?
Sis: Er, ya. Bigger than mine.......
Okie. I admit that my face is big.....
I've sang 'Under the sea' for five times yesterday without knowing it.... My sis was irritated...
'You can be so mature and child-like at the same time...' I think that's quite true too...
I need to study.....
3.08.2005
me n giang giang
are we like some high profile ppl?
me n eve!
I wanna buy a Zara sweater cum long sleeve! It's $29.90. Zara leh. I'm gonna buy it tml. Dun care. I like that.. It's cute. Really.
From a supposedly shopping trip, it became a bookstores tour. Went to Sunny bookstore. Oh man, it's my fav hangout! The books there are nice. Rented two romance book. Finished one yesterday night... One more to go. Anyway i have a month to read that...
I was too engrossed in it.. that i didnt pay too much attention on my fav Hk drama serial.. Boo Hoo Hoo.. I'm happy that Eternal Happiness is showing on tv again! I miss the song by Lam Fung.. Even though i've dl it.. I know its illegal esp i'm a media student... :P I'm bad
It was such an coincidence yesterday. Met Jia Li first at Wisma when she was heading to sch...
Then my sis met her friend at Wisma too..
After walking at Taka, both of us went back Wisma cause she wanna top up her card. Then, Hah, I saw Teckie, reading her comic book. She's going to Kino, where I've just went.
After meeting Jia Li n Teckie, I saw Jerald. Haha.... But he didnt see me..... I just walked past him...
Such an coincident...............
3.06.2005
Went to Clarke Quay just now, with my parents... Ate at the Rvierside Indonesian Restuarant. Food over there was nice.......... Not too ex either. :P"Windstruck." A really sad movie which made me cried almost through out the whole show.. Although it wasnt in a language that i understand, it managed to make me cry. Not just small droplets of tears trickled down, but really continuous flow of my tears.
'Will you die because ur bf/gf has just pass away?' If yes, do you really have the determination to do it? Ask yourself.
3.05.2005
Suddenly there's a surge of mix feelin within me... Time can really wash away everything. From a bunch of close frens whom you always meet up with, to now, they are just like any other person. A simple smile is shown on the face, not even opening up the mouth to say 'HI'.Wat's so difficult about it?
I dunno.
Thousand of people walk pass you everyday. But do you really take notice of who are they? Or maybe you just stare at the ground when you're walking, as if there's some gold for you to pick up from.
Do you count how many times you've pass by this particular person? Well, no one does that. You've never knew that. Perhaps, you walked pass your pri sch fren along orchard road without noticing it. Honestly, I haven been contacting my pri sch frens ever since secondary sch times.
Time really can wash away all the memories. While you are having the accompanion of your frens, some other people maybe be thinking of you. They may not be that close to you, but at least they're someone you knew. Acquaintances, frens, buddies watever.
Sometimes, i'll see a particular person quite a few times within a day. But, i dun even know that person, just that i remember his/her face. I wish a give a smile. But nothing came out. That person might be my future fren. I dont know. Who knows, anyway.
The first instinct when I see one whom i always see is to stare. After staring, the eye's vision will turn away. Still remember that i saw my fren in sch, both of us were walking in the opposite direction. We crossed. But I nvr say hi. There's something holding me back. I dunno.
So to speak, no one would talk or smile to a stranger even though that person may be very friendly. In this world, people seldom take the first step. Think back. Your frens around you. They are someone you knew through your other frens and here's where networking comes in.
Ice breaker, in this case, is the important tool for you to socialise. :)
I do hope that my social circle could be bigger... Seriously... You need a wide network tomake sure you survive in this world. Even a student like me..........